mind shift

Upcycle Coaching and The C.A.N.D.Y. Method with Ly Smith

Get ready for a jam packed episode with Ly Smith! We dive into how Ly got started with coaching and some of her own personal battles and life coaching styles. My favorite part about being a coach and meeting other coaches is talking about the different life coaching methods we use with clients and for ourselves. Ly uses what she calls the CANDY Method which uncovers some of the limiting beliefs we have about self, shifting mindset and improving self talk. She also goes over her own three G’s and I impress upon you to find your own three G’s. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

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Written Transcript

SPEAKERS

Ly Smith, Ben Florsheim

Ben Florsheim  00:20

All right everybody. Welcome back to the mind body builder podcast. My name is Ben Florsheim, I’m your complete coach and your host today and today I’m joined with Lee Smith. super happy to have her on here today. Lee is a keynote speaker, she is a coach as well. She is a coach here in Reno. And I think virtually as well, as she says she’s coaching people all over the place. She holds workshops and a ton of other stuff. And I think Kyle would join join me in saying she’s, she’s a badass.

Ly Smith  00:48

Thank you.

Ben Florsheim  00:49

So, you know, to kind of get started. Lee, can you tell us how you got into coaching?

Ly Smith  00:54

Yeah, absolutely. Um, I think for me, I have to go back to my college days when I had this whole life plan where I wanted to be a corporate motivational speaker and I had my path all set out. And as the universe would have it Am I was in a car accident before I could start executing it. And that car accident laid me up on the couch, which I am not a set still kind of gal, I am a mover and a shaker. But because all I could do was sit and heal my injuries. I was up late nights, and I caught the infomercials back in the day. And it was Tony Robbins. And he was putting out his personal power. And I thought Who is this guy? What is he doing? And how do I get to do what he’s doing. And it wasn’t until many many years later, when I was going through my own personal transformation. After a massive depression. My marriage at the time was 15 years was crumbling. I was estranged from my stepson who had grown and moved out of the house, I was struggling with my teenage daughter and I found myself standing on the beaches of Hawaii during a Christmas holiday with my family. And we were watching this incredible sunset waves to softly laughing on our feet breathing in the salty air. The colors of the sky are in pink and purple and his blues just so incredible. And I’m like, this is a moment. Oh my gosh, the people don’t even so many people do not even get once in a lifetime. So why can I not feel this moment? And I struggled with that. And I thought well, how long has this been going on? Because this is not me. I am the person who lives life to its fullest embrace every moment. And yet here I was beyond numb I was beyond empty. And it was I was coming into this awareness of I am hollow existence, going through the emotion, not the emotions, the emotions, there were no emotions going on. I was like I said beyond MTB on numb. And as I was in that stunned moment, I heard the question, Willie, what does make you happy? And I thought, Wait a minute. I know how to make my husband happy. I know how to appease the steps on. I know how to bring joy to my little girls face. Why am I coming up with no answer for me? What are you doing for you? And I said, Enough is enough. We have a new year coming right around the corner, I am drawing a line and the proverbial sea. And you can’t really do that in Hawaii because it’s lava. But I stepped over that line in my mind. And I said, I’m not looking back. And I’m going on a quest to figure out what’s going to make me happy. And I chose the word laugh as my word for the year and I did anything and everything that would make me laugh. And from there after months of watching reruns of friends sitcom of going down every weekend to the local improv show, intentionally surrounding myself with people I knew had an amazing sense of humor, I reclaimed my joy. And when joy spoke to me and said, Well, what do you want to do with me? Then I thought back to Tony Robbins. And I thought back to my eight year old self, who had her first speaking engagement in front of 300 people. And that feeling that I got after that initial experience that my eight year old self said, Let’s go get that feeling. I’m like, Yeah, let’s do it. I’ve been in the personal development world for 2530 years now. And I’ve certainly lived a lot of life and learned so much along the way. Why don’t I put those two aspects together, create my message and take it out into the world. And it was from there. I was I was doing a lot of networking being a massive connector here in the community. And I found out that some of my clients while they thought they needed networking, help When I was speaking with them, I said, I’m hearing some coaching aspects. And I’m breaking into coaching, would you let me play with you, if I create the transformation, all I’m asking for is the testimony. They had nothing to lose, I had nothing to lose. And six months in, we created these transformations where they were, they were finding more time, they were creating time where they could have more clients as well as free time for themselves to do what they really enjoyed doing. They were increasing their income. And they were just feeling more, I hate to use the word balanced, because for me, life is not about balance, I say it’s finding your rhythm, and they found their rhythm that allow them to be happy, and allow them to be fulfilled. And then out of that, got my certifications, and then started creating my own program from there. I hear through building up others, right. And finding that sense of self within that. And I can really relate to that, as you know, as another coach. Yeah. And, yeah, 25 years. Wow, that’s a long time. And you know, as as, as you were describing being on the beach, right, like I was there with you, right, and then that kind of crushing feeling. Right. And and, yeah, it’s super powerful. Not so.

Ben Florsheim  06:18

Yeah, that’s, that’s, that’s so cool. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much. And and with that, how would you describe your coaching and how’s it evolved?

Ly Smith  06:27

Yeah. So I, my journey definitely began with looking at myself. And then I had to look at myself in the mirror, get honest with myself. And then I had to fall in love with myself. Because I’ve learned that while I had so much to give in my marriage, in in, in being a stay at home mom, which was a dream of mine as well, that I’d given so much to that I lost myself in that process. And so I had to return to who I was, and then out of that Grow and Give again. And so in that process, when I started looking back through my notes and my books from Zig Ziglar and Jim Rohn, certainly Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard, all these wonderful greats, jack Canfield, I had seen him when he came through Reno and I said, Yes, that everything was confirming this is the path that I want to go. And I thought, Well, what do I have to contribute then. And I started just listening to the whispers that were coming to me. And one of those principles is everybody, every 7 billion plus persons on the planet has what I call the three G’s. They have gifts, they have genius, they have greatness. And when I was in college, a college buddy of mine, sat me down in the coffee shop recently. I know I haven’t known you for a very long time, but I just have to tell you, you are like a diamond. You take this light that you see in people, and you reflect it back to them in a way they never saw themselves. Because like I’ve never met anybody like you. And that just essentially took my breath away. What a massive compliment. And that has stuck with me 20 years later. Oh, yeah, that is that’s my three G’s. I am diamond, a see the best in others. And I can give it back to them in ways they never saw themselves before. Either they forgot, or they never saw it in the first place. And when you can recognize what those three G’s are, then you can then turn that into your passion, your purpose, and you take it out into the world. And that works for you. If you’re a stay at home mom, like I was, if you are an employee, if you’re in a leadership position, being able to shine, if you are an entrepreneur, and you’re trying to take your business to the next level, or you’re wanting to be a speaker and or coach like me and take your message out into the world. So I say your world can be small, or it can be the whole globe and that’s okay. But as long as you’re contributing and you’re growing and stepping into that purpose, it’s it’s so huge. And then as I moved along with that, well, okay, I recognize my gifts, how do I want to take it into the world? And again, kept listening to that my intuition from the source if you will, and it’s a What about candy? Okay, what about candy? What is that? Well, candies become my method to help people break through their limiting beliefs, their inner game with their mindset and their self talk, so that they can then accelerate toward their goals. faster and better. And candy is clarity, affirmation, necessity, discipline, and uniqueness that I spell with a Y? Oh, yeah. That all landed in my space and I’m scribbling notes down like okay, what is this? What And I started looking through again, all my personal development that I’ve learned from the greats. And I just created my own method out of that. And then I thought, Well, okay, so we have a method and the deeper pieces came to me. And I thought, well, Lee Smith coaching sounds kind of boring, like yours. I may be an interesting person, but at least myth coaching. No, I don’t think I like that. So what do I want to call this? And so I sat with that. And then I thought, well, I did down spiral into my depression, when I was just going through the motions. So what would been the opposite of that? Because that’s what I did carry myself out and rise again. And the word upcycle came to me. I thought, all right, well, what’s the true definition of upcycle? So I looked it up in the dictionary. And it said, to process something so as to make it better than what it originally was. I went, that’s it. Because this is what I do. When people come to me, I take them through my candy method. And they are definitely better than who they were when they originally came to me. And I said, All right. That’s my confirmation, you gave me the word it is now upcycled coaching. And that’s where I help people. And my, my, my biggest, well, I believe in three things that when we change our mindset, and our habits, and our integrity, that’s what’s going to get us to our success. And with the mindset, very simply, how do you see yourself and I wish I had my visual here with me then to show you in the audience. But if you’re listening, and you’re able to take notes, write these two words down, I’m gonna have Ben do it right now. The first word is reactor. And underneath that, I want you to write creator. Now, when you look at these two words, they may look like two entirely different words. But really, they’re ama grams, which means they’re the exact same letters, they’re just arranged in a different way. And when we are reactor, we’re just taking life by convenience and circumstance. And if you look at the C and reactor, you see it’s surrounded by the other letters. And so you may be seeing yourself as a reactor and you’re stressed, you got all these demands, you’ve got your kids tugging at you, you got your fur babies crawling across the keyboards and sitting in your lap, and you’re responding, you’re reacting to all the different situations coming out, you text, the emails, the expectations. And you may be feeling like I’m putting out fire after fire to fire and I am busy, my 24 hours are filled, I cannot add another thing. And you might be getting some things done. And at the end of the day, venture to guess you’re pretty tired and exhausted. And you’re thinking, I get to do this again tomorrow, what but when you can take yourself out. So now look at the C and creator, you take yourself out and put yourself in command, you take ownership. And then you command the priorities, what matters most to you, you align that, throughout the rest of your day. Now you’re creating the day that you want to experience that you want to feel you’re you’re creating life on your terms. And whether again, that’s a stay at home mom, an entrepreneur, the best employee that you can be, you are creating your life. And life is too short to be your reactor to find that clarity. Set that commitment, be the creator of your own life, own it and make it awesome. So interesting that you bring that up and I love that right. You know, you take the car and you put it in, you’re in charge Really? Right.

Ben Florsheim  14:06

And it’s it’s interesting. I had a client this morning, actually, you know, stay at home mom. Well, no, not a stay at home mom, but in charge of the household, you know, has a little one running around exactly what you’re talking about 12 hour days nurse. And she’s reacting. And she doesn’t even know that she’s reacting. Exactly. Yeah. And I start going hey, we’re going backwards. And like that was her cue to be like, Oh, yeah, it’s coming back. Yep. That’s coming back. Yeah. Right. So trying to like yeah, that creative. I think of moving forward. I think forward momentum, right. And this reactiveness is like, you know, almost in the past. Yes. And and you know, we can’t move forward unless we’re in the present right. On this whole crazy cycle, right, right. But yeah, she didn’t even notice that was happening in his suit. Like she started laughing when I’d say hey, we’re gonna you know, we’re going backwards. Oh my gosh, again, right? In the end, I haven’t seen this, I haven’t seen this woman laugh. You know, we’ve done two, two and a half sessions together, I think. And I see, you know, saw her start to wake up to this thing and like, come back alive. And it was so cool to watch. But again, I you know, I love how you put that together. Thank you. That’s very cool.

Ly Smith  15:19

And it’s a great mindset tool, too. Because when I say when thing when you’re feeling, in that moment, that frustration, I’m like, Okay, then give yourself permission to pause, push yourself away, take a step back, close your eyes, if you can, for a moment, taking that deep breath. And then just simply ask yourself, Am I being a reactor or a creator in this situation? And if you are, yep, I was reacting, okay, then how can you be a creator and make that next best moment, the best moment? I also think of like, a lot of clients that I work with, in that same instance, the reaction is almost something that they have no control over right now, more often than not. And the big question that I come, you know, you know, it’s the bits of basic question of when that situation, what do you have control over? Sure. Yeah. It’s, it’s the, it’s not the initial thoughts, or even the initial feelings, it’s the secondary, the moment you do become aware, like, Whoa, yeah, oh, I’m really frustrated, or, oh, this is stressful on losing it. Okay. That’s the initial part. Then ask yourself, how do you want to feel in this moment? And then what’s the action that’s going to get you there? And now, how do you go from the unconscious to the conscious? It takes diligent practice, diligent practice? And first of all, can you ask yourself, well, am I aware of what’s happening in my life? am I paying attention to what’s happening with my day? Or is that time just slipping away, because that’s time we’ll never get back. But if we can look back and see some patterns, then Oh, alright, then we can start to recognize some of the triggers. And then when we recognize the trigger those triggers, that’s where we can really use the reactor creator tool to train to train the brain and rewire it. So that now those triggers don’t have to go down a bad path, they can go down a path that actually serves you, that creating that, that awareness is it’s, it’s, it’s tricky because folks, our days are controlled 95% by our unconscious, we have built in so many habits. And so becoming aware of what those habits are. So if you can get into just even a practice of, where’s your time going? It’s almost like when you if you choose to budget, your money, you have to track every single receipt, where are the pennies and the dollars going? And when you can do that with your time? Where is your time going? And really writing it down? You go, Oh, my gosh, I’m really only did two hours of work today. Everything else was filler. And you know, very much like the budget is like, Okay, well, yeah, I’m paying my mortgage and my car payment. Oh, but so much of this is going to the impulse buy when I’m going to the grocery store. Alright, and then you can make that change. But yeah, that all that subconscious stuff going on, we have to wait that up.

Ben Florsheim  18:18

When you’re when you’re talking about that, I think of the analogy that I use, I’m a gym goer, right. And one of the analogies that I wear that I talk about is like these parts of self that have been, you know, doing these things year over year for a long time, they’ve been doing push ups, they’ve been getting stronger. Yes. Right. And how do we start to give more power and, and more strength to these other parts, you know, that are kind of starting to sink through, like seep through, right, right? You know, you you sought out coaching, this has gotten to the point where like, you know, you want a change, you have a goal in mind. And one of the one of the methods that I use, and I’m really anxious to get into the candy method here, but one of the methods that, that I love taking clients through if you know if it works for them, and it’s quite, it’s called parts work. And when you’re talking about rewiring the brain, and I think of for a lot of these clients, right, they have, you know, this chaos going on. And the way that I described parts work is untangling the chaos and giving it a name and giving it a voice right. And some people talk about this as like the empty chair method where we’re, you know, we go through this mandorla and we start giving names to all these different parts and then you physically get up and move and sit into that part and speak from that part. Right. And it was interesting that you were talking about the eight year old girl and what you know, it sounds like that’s kind of your happy go lucky fun, you know, joyous part right? You know, that first kind of memory that inner child as we call it in parts work. And yes, getting to do that with clients. And you know, the first couple times it’s like, okay, man, like what are we doing? This kind of trust the process zactly Why does this feel woowoo? No, it’s science peopleare literally rewiring that stuff and giving Giving a name and a voice to these parts that have been with you forever but haven’t had haven’t had the gumption or the energy to you know to speak over these other parts. Sure. If you enjoyed this podcast please like and subscribe This podcast is brought to you by Harmonious CBD. Harmonious CBD has a great full spectrum CBD. And they’re one of the leading companies in the CBD market today. If you’d like to support this podcast, please follow the link below and use code MindBodyBuild for 10% off your order for harmonious CBD. So, you know, that totally leads me into the candy method and wanting to you know, hear about, you know, how you take clients through it, and just kind of my curiosity as another coach and learning about it.

Ly Smith  20:43

Sure, well, because candy is five pieces, I spent two weeks on each piece. And so I have a 10 week coaching program, but I can also customize it into a 45 minute or an hour presentation, I can also do a two to eight hour workshop depending on what a client needs. But a quick win I love to give my prospects is using the candy daily planner that I have put together, which she brought today, which is cool. So Penny gets to see it. I’ll tell you later how you can see it for yourself. Because I want to give, I want to give my prospects a quick win. And so this is like a sample taste of the candy method. And if they say, oh, wow, I use that for everyday for a week. And I noticed a difference. How do I get more of this. And then I can invite them into a workshop or an intensive depending on what what it is that they’re looking for. And then I can take them a little bit deeper so that they can start to have a breakthrough with that inner game with their mindset and their self talk. And then when they get those wins, they’re they’re starting to recognize, oh, well, I am feeling more clear. throughout my day I am experiencing more energy, I’m actually experiencing a little bit more time, greatly. How do I get even more of this? Well, then let’s talk about my coaching program. And there we can get 10 weeks of either individualized or group attention depending on on what you’re seeking there. And then we’re going to we’re going to deep dive on each of these parts. So just for the for the daily when we’re looking at clarity, and that is what’s your desired outcome. What What is it that you actually want to accomplish in the day? And I tell you just pick three because the to do list. It’s like the laundry and the dishes and scrubbing the toilet. It’s a never ending cycle. So what are the three that’s going to three top priorities that are going to move you in action towards that bigger picture that desired outcome? Is it fitness? Is it getting into better health? Is it how do I increase my revenue? Well, let’s look at your money, activities, what’s going to get you more money? Or if it’s a better relationship? Well, let’s you know, is it we need to draw out more compliments in the day, that’s going to be your priority that day, whatever it happens to be. So just picked three. And then if you get done with those three early in the day, you can add more to it. That’s your choice. But I’m only going to give you three because it might take you all day to get through three. And I want you to have that when and when you have a when your brain floods with dopamine. And your brain really likes the feel of dopamine, and it gives you happiness and it brings you joy. And then the brain goes how do we get more of that. And that is what continues to propel you forward towards doing another goal and accomplish again and again and again. And then before you know it after some time you’re looking at, did I do that? And you did all of these things. It’s so fun. The A is affirmation. What do you say when you speak to yourself. And I’m going to challenge you with this because it’s my favorite thing to do with my audience. Tomorrow morning, when you get up and you’re getting yourself together, I want you to stand in front of the mirror, look at yourself in the eyes, put a smile on your face and say I love you. And if you have not ever done that before, it’s going to feel really uncomfortable. But do it in the morning and say I love you and we’re gonna rock it today. And then when you go to bed tomorrow night, I want you to do it again after you brush your teeth and everything. Look at yourself, say I love you. And we did a really great job today. And even if it wasn’t a perfect day, don’t beat yourself up. There’s no shame there’s no guilt. That doesn’t help. You’re going to acknowledge yourself and then you’re going to get really good sleep and rock it out again tomorrow. So the affirmation is finding a quote that moves you or a mantra like for myself my mantra is outside my comfort is masoom and you can borrow that or an affirmation is a positive I am statement. I am are the two more most powerful words in the universe, because whatever follows it is what gets created. And especially when you repeat it again and again and again, you know, so when you’re having negative self talk right now, like, I am such a hot mess, what do you think is going to happen with your day? I’m running so late. Well, it’s like a hot mess. Yeah, exactly. Or, you know, I am a rock star art, or I am really great at setting my intentions and following through with action. What do you think that’s going to create, so you write what’s going to move you that day that you’re just like, Oh, this is what I want to do to Rock me. necessity is the task that will move the needle. And the task is the actual action step. You know, in clarity, we put the desired outcome, but the necessity is the task that’s going to actually the action that you need to do that’s going to get you moving. And so the necessity is about creating that sense of urgency. Because when you set a deadline for the brain, it finds evidence to go, how do we feel that and make that happen. So when you can write it down and you see it, you will have a greater chance of actually accomplishing it, instead of putting it in your note to self, that doesn’t work, you actually have to write it down and look at it. The discipline is looking at your habits. And I don’t like to look at habits as good or bad. It’s what habits are serving you, and taking you for helping you go forward. And what habits are hindering you, they’re holding you back. And I want you to really cling on and amplify the habits that are serving you. So which one habit will serve you best today? And again, when you write it down? And if you have a moment that hiccups in the day because hiccups happen, then you can look at that. Oh, yeah, that’s what I’m focusing on. Get yourself in that discipline, you recognize that habit? Because it’s already in you. You’re already capable of doing it, you’ve been doing it. And now you put that into action, and the uniqueness, you know, what is it that you do love about yourself today? And that, again, enhances what you know, that you want to accomplish? And then I add in a couple more questions after this candy part. How will I feel when I accomplish candy today? That’s beginning with the end in mind, because you’re thinking, alright, tonight when I go to bed, how am I going to feel when I get all of this done? Or knowing that I put in so much effort, maybe it wasn’t perfect, but I put in that effort. And I actually moved forward, when you can get in touch with that feeling. Again, throughout the day when hiccups happen. You can look back and think oh, yeah, that’s my goal. That’s what I’m working toward. And then if it feels like a chore, how motivated Are you going to feel to do it? You’re not. So to get you into that mind frame? I say, How can I make this fun and easy today. And then you get to play with it, be silly with it, whatever pops up in your imagination, again, write that down. And then on the second half of the page, I asked at the top, what are you intending to create this hour. So whatever hour your day starts, I don’t have the set time here you get to put that in. But whatever your your intention is, for that hour, you write that down, and then go to work on it. Because the integrity part is following through on what you say you will do. So when you write it down, it adds to that level of commitment. It’s already clear, because you wrote it out. Now all you have to do is just go to the do. And then you come back and you can answer Did you do it? And that’s just getting honest with yourself Yes or no? Because distractions happen, interruptions happen, life happens. And so you know, can you look back at that, and it’s a great way to track your day to say, Well, did I actually do it? Or what was the resistance? Or am I procrastinating or am I afraid? And that’s helping to bring that awareness to the top? And then if you didn’t do it, just asking why? And it’s just, again, no guilt, no shame. It’s just getting honest with yourself because there might be something deeper that you didn’t recognize. And then when you can address that, whether it’s a limiting belief, a fear, or maybe something deeper that you didn’t recognize was there before. I mean, so much like me being on that beach, or I didn’t realize, wait a minute, I have been depressed How long has this been going on? And then coming into that full notice full awareness, you can make those necessary changes and go forward. And then at the bottom because I’m very much in alignment with Ben, you know, we got to have that mind and we got to have the body. Are you drinking water? So I have little water check marks did you move? For me exercise is about finding movement that you enjoy doing. And I don’t put any particular discipline in there to say yes or no. Did you move today Then I have a negative and a positive range on the self talk. Was it more positive? Was it negative? And then same thing with your energy? Did you feel good about your energy throughout the day? Or was it a little bit less? And again, just giving you something awareness? And then as you get ready for bed, I just have this one question where it says my number one priority tomorrow is, and then it gives you something to look forward to. So that’s candy method sampler in a nutshell. I love the power within it. And if not why that’s that’s big, because again, like you said, it’s not about beating yourself up. It’s about learning from what the client today and it’s about learning from the failure and turning failure into a positive. Exactly. The so the What are you? What are you intending to create this hour? And I don’t, I don’t want to go in and beat up therapy because, you know, I’ve done therapy in my life and I had its place in within my coaching session. I’m curious kind of how you run a coaching session, but it’s, you know, that’s the first question that I asked, Where do you want to be in the hour? Like, right, when we leave today? What’s the goal? You know, I spend like two or three minutes, I’m like, Okay, what happened since last time? All right, we’re here like, Where do you want to be? Exactly, that’s what I do with my clients too, because it’s their time, not my time. And it’s about them, definitely not about me, I’m just, I’m just that outside observer, that can help take them through and guide them through the journey, because they’re caught in their own muck, whatever that happens to be in, I just kind of clear the dirt so that they can see the past and they go, Oh, then they can do they have their own power to put one foot in front of the other. Right. Like I was sharing with Ben earlier, I was in Hawaii last week. And one of the excursions that my girlfriend and I did was hiking YPO Valley, and it is a sacred valley, it’s 879 feet vertical, it’s one and a half miles down very steep hand, it’s one and a half miles up extremely steep. And, you know, going uphill, was such a challenge. I’m not in the best shape, but I’m not in the worst shape. Either. I’m in pretty decent shape. And it’s just putting one foot in front of the other. And the incline is so steep, my heart was racing, literally at 162 beats per minute. I think that’s the max I’ve ever seen myself. And I thought, Oh my gosh, I’m just putting one foot in front of the other. I’m not jumping up and down cardio. And so just recognizing that even if I had to stop and pause, and go, let my heart rate, you know, rest for a moment back to 150. And then I’ll put one foot in front of the other again. But having that awareness and moving forward and going. My intention is to get to the top of the hill. And even when my girlfriend said, Hey, this is a place I can bring the car to I said, Are you kidding me? No, I’ve come this far. So that’s what I want to do with my clients is just help them clear that path. They are the ones who put one foot in front of the other. And I’m not going to be like my girlfriend and say, I’ll bring the car around. No, I’m going to push you and say you’ve got this. You’ve come this far. This is not the time to quit. This is the time to keep moving these last few steps. And then you get the victory dance at the top of the hill total cheer. Definitely, definitely. But when you recognize it’s your own power within. Because I don’t know the answers for you. I never will. I’m just the coach that takes that light and reflects it back in a way that you get to see it for yourself. And you recognize, oh, I can do this. And I say Yeah, you can. Let’s rock it.

Ben Florsheim  33:38

I’m a big fan of mantras and affirmations within my clients as well. Do you have a way that you like the clients to use affirmations? I’m a big fan of sticky notes. Yes. Like on the computer on you know mirrors even on the My favorite is the rearview mirror in the car?

Ly Smith  33:56

Ah, yes. Well, for me, what I like to do is have people put it in their phones and put it set it as an alarm. You can customize your I’m pretty sure you can do this on the Android too. I have the Apple products, and you can label the alarm. And so I have them identify three words. What three words do you want to describe the best version of yourself? For me it’s drive, tenacity and fun. Because yes, I want to work hard, but I will play harder than I could work. And I want to remind myself that even when I’m taking my clients through their difficult situations, I want to find a way to make it fun for them. Because otherwise it’s a chore and whoever wants to do a chore. So for me it’s Yeah, creating alarm or I start working with them. What I learned from Brendon Burchard, which is the threshold trigger, and the threshold is the doorway when you’re walking through the door. So if you’re walking into your office, and when you walk through that doorway, you just say those three words to yourself and Because you’re walking through that doorway daily, then you can trigger that. And now you do that at the beginning of your day or when you go to the bathroom, you come back and you say those words again? Or you can do it in your alarm. Yes, I love their sticky notes all over my office. Great things, too.

Ben Florsheim  35:18

And one other question I had on here. So just for clarity, you know, if I have this question, I’m sure, you know, people out there might as well. So the necessary the task that will move the needle? Is that one of the goals? Or is it or is it completely different?

Ly Smith  35:31

It’s completely different. Because with the with the top three goals or priorities that we have under clarity, let’s, let’s say that I, I want to walk two miles today. So then I’m gonna say, for necessity, I’m like, get out the door. 2pm. So I get very, very specific on what that action is. My goal isn’t going to accomplish walking two miles today. But that necessity is like, I know, I get easily distracted. And before I know, it’s evening time, and I would rather sit on the couch watching Netflix, then go take a walk, well, then I’m going to put that specific time before that action, and go and make that happened. We it’s it’s funny when I was I was selling personal training before became a personal trainer. And one of the things that the trainers did at the gym I was at was smart goals. Right requirements and right. It’s Specific, Measurable, Attainable, relevant time bound. Exactly. And, yeah, whenever I have a client that comes up with a goal, you know, I don’t talk about smart goals. But you know, I get very specific with them and like, hey, so what are you gonna do tomorrow? Yeah, so that Yeah, I love that the, you know, tasks that will move the needle today. Yeah. Thanks for the clarification. Oh, for sure. Who is your ideal client? Who do you find yourself working with more and more? I, I work with both men and women, I have worked with more men than women recently. And that’s great. Because it’s the person who recognizes Life is good. They’re their pain, gosh, I really don’t have anything to complain about. You pass by them, like, Hey, how’s it going? Or like, Oh, it’s good. And, you know, they’re, they’re feeling good about their job. They’re feeling good about their family life. They’re feeling good about the vacations that they’re taking. But yet, when they wake up, and they’re looking at themselves in the mirror, they’re thinking, alright, I’m, I’m in my late 30s, I’m in my early 40s. Life is good, but I still have a lot of life ahead of me. Is this as good as it gets? And there’s that little nudge underneath, or an itch? And they’re thinking, what, what is that? And maybe they lost sight of their dreams. Or maybe they they do feel like, cuz I’m just going through the motions on essentially living for the weekends, and it’s fun, and have a great social life. But there’s just the sense of something more, then I want to grab hold of you, and say, yeah, there absolutely is more. If you’re feeling it, there’s a reason for that. So let me take you through this candy method. And we’ll get clear on those things. And you will walk away not only with these mindset, and and self talk tricks, or hacks, if you will, you’ll walk away with a 90 day roadmap, where, like me at the bottom of that will be a hill, and I’m looking up and going, Oh, boy, here we go. I know that all I got to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other, and it’s going to feel so good. Every step of the way. It might be challenging, but I’ll stop and pause for a moment. I will keep moving forward. And I’ll get to do that victory dancing. Oh, that was totally worth it. Because your life, you’re here for a reason. You’re not here by accident. And so yes, your life is totally worth it. And for you to figure that out. Sure. There’s plenty of resources out there. We say nowadays, like, if we don’t know what it is we google it right? Or if we want, we don’t know how to do it. We go find it on YouTube, right? There’s all kinds of resources and so you could get the books, you can get the videos, the audios, and try to figure it out for yourself. And you could have some breakthroughs. I’m not going to doubt that there’s some incredible human beings out there in the world. But if you really want to sort that out and sorted out sooner than later, so you can do that victory dance sooner. Whether it’s me or Ben or someone else, grab a mentor, grab a coach, invest in yourself in the time and the money and that energy, that transformation that happens. It’s 10x it’s 100x than what your investment is. You deserve it. You’re worth it. Don’t go to the grave with your dreams. Don’t go to the grave with regrets and not having lived your best life. So Start making that change now.

Ben Florsheim  40:02

I love that. And as you’re talking, you know, I’m thinking about, you know, I’ve had other coaches, you know, I’ve had fitness coaches on I’ve had nutrition coaches on and and you know, wanted to kind of, you know, take a step back and kind of talk to the listeners out there a little bit and kind of expand on what you just finished with. Right? I think that everybody needs a coach. And what I love about my coaching style, and the way that I coach is, I’ll be the first to tell you, I might not be the right coach for you. Absolutely. And right, I have no fear on, you know, having you on this podcast as a coach Ray and and like, I can’t even think of clients that i’ve you know, that I can think of that I can I can send your way right now. And being that avenue for people, and what you started the podcast with, and like really being there for the individual. And it’s their time they’re coming to us with and if I can’t provide them with my best resources, which may not be me, but I might be the resource to help them find that. Yes, I’m okay with that. Because I’m doing my job. Right. Right. So it’s been so awesome to have you on. Thank you. I have one more question. What’s what’s on the speaker rotation for you?

Ly Smith  41:12

Oh, my gosh, well, I just came off my biggest stage yet, which was Saturday, June 5, with Les Brown, the godfather of motivational speaking. I’ve been a student of his for about a year now I’m coming up on my 12th month. And it has been so amazing to be coached by him. And I actually manifest a spot on his stage because he has about 200 students that he goes, he coaches through six weeks at a time and out of those 200. And he picks 20. For the summit, he’s done only six summits. And it’s my understanding, he’s not going to be doing them for for a while now. So I got picked on the last one. And having manifested that, and just brought that into into my world to make that happen. And was so phenomenal. And you can actually catch that. On Facebook, it’s facebook.com slash the Les Brown. And I’m an I’m the second speaker. And so that’s so fun. Oh gosh, what’s coming up. Next, I believe, Oh, my gosh, my calendar is so full. I’m going to Chicago at the end of this month. And I may not be speaking per se that. But that’s a networking opportunity to work with some of the great event planners or around the country. And we’re lucky in that I am part of what’s called the mentor studio. And it’s a community of mentors from various expertise. And we are they are working with Power Team international and to get motivated, which are the two biggest event planning companies in the nation. And they have the calendar filled with over 300 live events, over 150 virtual events. And that’s just to the end of 2021. And then they are planning a lot a world tour in April 2022, kicking off at 202 in London, they have communities in 15 countries, including places like Romania, Australia, Israel, and Singapore, Hong Kong, Thailand, just incredible communities. I’m so honored to be a part of that team and taking things forward. And yes, my next speaking event, it just came to me Sorry, folks, I don’t have my calendar in front of me. It is actually Tuesday, June 15. It’s called the speaker’s impact summit. It’s a virtual event. You can find it online, I will be speaking, I have a five minute piece. And there’s three of us in a 15 minute block.

Ben Florsheim  43:47

Awesome. Hey, Lee, it’s been awesome having you on and learning more about the candy method. Like I said, I’m always interested in you know, all the different methods. All the coaches are using, how can people contact you,

Ly Smith  43:56

They can just reach out to me. Well, first of all, I love this will be in the show notes. Yes, yes. I’d love to give you this free gift, this candy method daily planner that I was sharing with Ben today. And you can get that by going to upcyclecoaching.com/yourbestday. And I would love to have a conversation with you if you want to say Hmm, I wonder if Lee could be my coach, then let’s let’s have a conversation. And at least I will give you a clarity session. So you will walk away with a win for yourself. And that you can just go to calendly.com/upcyclecoaching and the best way to follow me on Instagram and that’s instagram.com slash upcycle dot coaching. I’d love to have you Awesome.

Ben Florsheim  44:42

Thanks again Lee. Thank you

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