Upcycle Coaching and The C.A.N.D.Y. Method with Ly Smith

Life Coaching, Balance and Real Estate with Cal Lewis

I think this is one of my favorite episodes so far! In this episode I have Cal Lewis on the podcast who was my guest on the second podcast and Cal has been one of my clients since I started coaching. We talk about how coaching has impacted him on a personal and professional level. Cals big work through coaching was balance. Specifically focusing on work and personal life balance. We discuss some of the tactics that have worked for him and how it has helped him not only double his business, but fall back I love with real estate.

Some Highlights in the podcast.

  • We provide advice for real estate agents and talk about the volatile state of the market; and not just about buyers and sellers, but the volatility of the agents.
  • Having a level demeanor.
  • What the word Team in real estate means. (Hint: Agents of both sides of the deal are on the “Team”)

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Written Transcript

Ben Florsheim 0:20
Welcome back to the mind body build podcast. Again, my name is Ben Florsheim, I’m your host and pretty cool today I am joined with Cal Lewis, who I think was my second podcast, it’s probably been close to it was probably pretty pandemic, for sure. COVID pretty common. And, you know, also pretty cool Cal is Cal is one of the first clients that I started coaching with as well. You know, it’s been cool to obviously have you know, Cal on on lawn is one of the first you know, a couple of podcasts that I did. And I also saw the other day that I just hit 500 listening. So thank you guys, everybody that’s out there. That’s pretty freakin cool. Right? Get now we’re about 18 podcasts and and so you know about 20 listens a podcast. So it’s been fun.

Cal Lewis 1:06
That’s awesome dude called Joe Rogan.

Ben Florsheim 1:08
That would be that’d be next level for me.

Cal Lewis 1:11
Hit the freaky charts like, right?

Ben Florsheim 1:14
You know, I wonder if guys like that, you know, Joe Rogan, if you call him and you’re like, yeah, you know, can I pay to be on your podcast? Or can you pay to mention me on your podcast?

Cal Lewis 1:24
Or it’s probably so much. I don’t even want to know.

Ben Florsheim 1:29
30 grand, right? At least. But yeah, man, I mean, it’s been, you know, it’s cool to have you back on, it’s cool to be back in person, obviously, too. You know, we’ve been doing a lot of sessions via zoom, and really kind of wanted to have Cal on you know, to give some of his experience through coaching. I’ve got some of my background as some of you guys know, out there in real estate as well. And Cal and I have a history, you know, history together real estate, you know, Cals done a few deals for me, we’ve done a few deals together, we’ve worked together, he was my office manager at one point. Going back, yeah. So you know, there’s some, there’s some cool history there and really wanted to, you know, get him on here and talk, you know, have him share his experience with coaching because I know that, you know, coaching is a really new thing, or new, newish term that, you know, people don’t know a whole lot about. And so to kind of, you know, started off with you cow, you know, what is coaching mean, for you, in your profession, in your life, you know, from the experience that you’ve had,

Cal Lewis 2:33
It’s, it’s been awesome, dude. That’s the short of it, long version of it is, especially in real estate. I mean, you know, that you have days where you feel like, you’re the best realtor ever, and you have days where you’re like, I don’t even know if this is the right industry for me to be in. Yeah, you know, it can do that to you. So having, you know, having someone to kind of talk through, what you’re going through mentally with a man is, is a game changer, it really is. Someone to kind of level you out week by week, or now we’re going every two weeks, you know, it’s, it’s really changed my approach to a lot of different things. I mean, I was just thinking today, you know, I want to coach for a lot of different aspects of my life, you know, and I’m now looking for a coach for my finances and stuff like that, just because I’ve seen such a huge advancement here in my professional and personal life, just doing this.

Ben Florsheim 3:38
So I heard like, like volatility in the market, right, almost volatility, like in the mindset, as well. And, and, you know, I mean, there’s a lot of stuff that goes into, you know, obviously, being a real estate agent, and I’d go as far as saying, you know, being an entrepreneur that works for yourself, right, like, you know, you wake up you go, okay, where, you know, where’s the next meal ticket? Some days, and then it’s like, okay, we’re gonna go to fucking Hawaii this week, right? Like, last week, like, I didn’t know, like, I was gonna eat fucking macaroni and cheese. This week, we’re going to Hawaii. Right. Right. And, yeah, so So I mean, I definitely, you know, I definitely know what that’s like, obviously, for my history as well. And, you know, it’s been really cool to be a part of for you. I mean, obviously, real estate wasn’t the wasn’t the direction that I took my life in. And, you know, it’s been it’s been fun to be, you know, along the journey with you. And I think, why don’t think I know, you know, we’re talking about goals, you know, in December for the previous year, man, and the goal was to double the business. Right, and, and we fucking hit the goal. Big time. You You hit the goal,

Cal Lewis 4:42
right. Right now we did, dude. I mean, it’s it. I think of it as kind of a team aspect of it. I really do. I don’t think I could have done that. Had I just continued down the path that I was on, you know,

Ben Florsheim 4:54
for sure. You know, can you talk a little bit about that path and what it was for you what, you know what kind of how Literally double, you know, double the business and 2020 for you.

Cal Lewis 5:03
To do that, I think we got to go back to where I was when we first started, you know, and we started this because I was lacking balance to the extent of just almost insanity dude, one week out work, you know, 13 hour days, just straight, and then the next week, I wouldn’t want to work at all, I wouldn’t do anything. And then it was just back and forth. And I’m kicking myself one week, because I haven’t done anything. And I’m kicking myself the next week, because I have no time for family and, you know, doing anything that I want to do. So I mean, having that balance really, really made me have more consecutive good days. And that, that’s, that’s the key, I think, I mean, that was my key at least, and, you know, not stressing yourself out one week, and just getting getting the stuff done that you need to get done. And having, like I said, those,

Ben Florsheim 5:54
those consecutive good days, some of that balance that you’re talking about, and I can I can kind of remember right, and like, let me kind of paint a little bit of this picture for the people that are out there. You know, those those weeks where you’re working 13 hours versus, you know, 13 hour days versus not right, like, you know, yes, yes, we’re talking about like, the beginning of the pandemic, but also right, most of you know, most of the real estate agents that I know, are already kind of working from home working out of their truck. So not I wouldn’t say a ton change, right? Yeah, I was not, you know, kind of stuck to miss the office meetings and things like that, but like, you know, the couch and the chair and like, you know, the the fridge and all those things are like within arm’s reach. Right? So it’s so easy, I think, and you know, what kind of happened with you, right? It’s so easy to get sidetracked, right? You were working you were doing, you know, yard work, you know, you know, things that needed to get done or watching TV or convincing myself I was working. Yeah. But yeah, so so that balance was a little out of whack, right? And so we started setting some goals and some of the goals were as simple as like, I got a trip up to mom and dad’s up, you know, like up in Idaho, I want to feel good about going to the trip, right? And so what does that look like on a regular basis? Right? Very simple, cool, like cool stuff that we can totally wrap our head around and going from, like, these simple goals to what is your day going to look like? Right on a daily basis, right? We you know, we go from like, what are the next 30 days is gonna look like how am I gonna feel good? And then it’s like, what’s today gonna look like what’s the next time right gonna look like?

Cal Lewis 7:22
It’s, it’s crazy. Because, you know, I think it’s a little bit different for everybody, right? And it took us a minute to figure out what kind of made me better or or made my days better, you know, and it turned out to be just the stupidest thing dude, it turned out to be bigger font on my to do list so that I couldn’t put like 100 things on my sheet I had to put like five and the like, after three weeks of doing this, I was just like, what is happening? Like I’m getting so much more done. And it was just bigger font. It’s so dumb and I think you know, like I said, that’s obviously not going to work for everybody but you know, just finding finding something that works and setting the right goals and having that coach to bounce something off of and really reflect Hey, this worked for me this didn’t work for me that was a game changer.

Ben Florsheim 8:20
And it took us a little while to get there right we try and and I like how you said bouncing things off the coach right because me as the coach right? I don’t I don’t have the all the all the answers, right? And you can you can you can attest to that. It’s more like, hey, like you, you come up with some of your own ideas. And then there’s some times where it’s like, out of ideas and it’s like, Okay, well this is what I’m hearing and this is you know, here’s another idea cow. Here’s another idea, right? And we try it for a week and it’s like not really working. Let’s move on to something else.

Cal Lewis 8:46
I know a ton of realtors that feel like they’re just spinning their wheels out there and and that’s how this business can get I mean it feels like you’re just doing all this work and nothing ever comes out of it and you can get trapped in like trying to do this all yourself but having someone to bounce it off of is totally 100%

Ben Florsheim 9:06
what helped me out what else do you feel like you’ve discovered about yourself throughout the process? That’s a tough question man. I got tons of great

Cal Lewis 9:18
let me let’s talk parts work for a minute I mean I’ve learned I’ve learned that I have a ton of different parts that you know make up my whole and they’re almost like voices right you can you can kind of hear like these the negative thoughts from like dark cow and you can hear you know like the fun like joke telling every other sentence from fun cow and and getting to know those pieces of myself I think was huge in not just work but everyday life you know, family life stuff, you know, I mean dealing with going to the grocery store dude or, or getting stuck in traffic. It’s just You know, okay, we need to comment down here and let’s, let’s have, let’s have fun Cal come out for the next 15 minutes to get through this traffic jam. It sounds bonkers if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I think but, I mean, once, once you kind of get a grip on it, it’s actually really, really helpful, really cool.

Ben Florsheim 10:18
That’s a huge thing that I’ve learned. I so appreciate you bringing up the parts work. It’s one of my favorite tools to work with clients on man. And, you know, it doesn’t fit for every client, right? But if the clients open for it, because it’s, it gets vulnerable, like real quick, right big time, because it’s all you know, the way that I explained it to somebody, right, like, you know, like how set if you don’t know what you’re talking, you know, if you don’t know, what we’re talking about, it can be you know, can sound a little strange, right, and it’s almost like untangling the chaos inside the brain. And giving it you know, giving these different voices names and characteristics and, you know, things like that, you know, we go through a ton of different stuff and something that I really like about your mind, dala that, you know, that’s, that’s what we call the parts as a whole, right like this, this mendala this board of different parts, so we can put them out on a piece of paper, or I’ve got some cool, you know, programs that we can work with on the computer, and kind of move these things around for what’s present for you. Right, and something we discovered for your parts is the you’re a huge baseball guy. Right? Right and going with the coach and the starter and the finisher, right, you know, which played a huge role in real estate for you right like you know, it’s not as finisher it’s a close those of us me Yeah, closer. And you know, given these guys you know, pieces of a deal, but yet, you know, that they were really good at giving, you know, repurposing them. And, you know, we’re not necessarily even repurposing them, but really figuring out what their specific roles were for you and your life. Exactly. Exactly. Giving them things to do.

Cal Lewis 11:48
Right? No, and and you’re exactly right, dude, it can be it can, it can get real vulnerable, and it can, like the first couple of times you go through it, you’re just kind of like, I don’t know, I don’t know what Ben is trying to do here, dude. But, but you stick with it. And And honestly, it opens up a ton of doors that you didn’t think would be open, like, like you were saying different, just in real just talking real estate terms. And you know, when different parts of me should, should show or should shine, you know? And if you have the closer come out first, you’re kind of out of whack, dude. And you can’t you can’t always be closing no matter what the movie tells you. But yeah, yeah, parts parts work was cool. parts were did a lot. And I just appreciate it. Yeah, and

Ben Florsheim 12:40
talking about fun calendar Cal. Right. Like, the, and I’ll preface this before I talk about it, right, like parts are inherently You know, we’ve talked about this parts are not inherently good or bad, right, negative or positive. You know, they can have some of those qualities. Right. And, you know, finding out more about Dr. Kalam like what like what, for me, right? I’ve got, you know, you know, got some of those same, like, you know, fear driven parts, and figuring out what those parts are telling us. And, you know, what triggers them and what’s going on and, and finding out within those parts that Hey, man, this guy’s really important, right? He’s like, you know, he’s the guy that triggers the fight or flight me.

Cal Lewis 13:20
Right? Right. Exactly. Yeah, for sure. If if he starts, if he starts being real loud, you need to, you probably need to check something for sure.

Ben Florsheim 13:32
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The real estate market at any given time as volatile, right. And I’m in this place where you know, I’m like, man, there’s a cool opportunity for me to have Cal on the podcast, because what I’m seeing in the real estate market, and you’re probably way more in tune with this than I am, but you know, seeing what’s happening and how these real estate agents are treating each other and how they’re potentially treating their clients because of what’s happening, you know, externally right the markets, scary we don’t know, you know, they don’t know when the next paycheck is gonna come. You know, they don’t know if these people are gonna get into a house starting to take on some of the emotion of their clients. And and seeing this, you know, happened right before our eyes and, and and really thinking about almost this term that’s coming to mind right now, right like for you and maybe you can speak to this but like changing your internal environment to change and repurpose the external environment around you.

Cal Lewis 14:50
For real, I mean, it’s it’s a I mean, you have to practice every day right now because it’s it’s so frustrating. And it can be so frustrating for your clients for other realtors. The way that the way that our the realtors are talking to each other, it’s it’s nobody’s fault, you know, and and you have to, you have to get yourself in a really good place before you start the work day right now it’s, it’s kind of crazy. Just Just because you’re fighting for your clients, especially buyers right now you’re fighting for these buyers to get into something and they’re they’re a little bit stressed out because I mean that they might be moving out of their place pretty soon they have 60 days to buy something they have, you know, you’re coming, you’re running in all these different scenarios, and you write what you think is just the best offer for these guys. And, you know, you’re coaching them through that that’s, that’s a big part of our job is educating the client and trying to get them the house that they want. And you educated and you you, you honestly they write the offer that you think is going to get them the house and and you get beat out by two other guys. You know, it’s, it’s, it’s frustrating. And you have to you have been doing a lot of the parts work dude, at the beginning of the day, just like we got to make this fun somehow, you know, I got to be this cheerleader right now. Because this is this is tough. And we’re not the only ones going through this. And we have to realize that as a as an industry right now. Everybody’s nervous. Everybody’s frustrated. Everybody wants us to be leveled out a little bit, except if your house is on the market right now. But, but it’s important to really maintain a level demeanor and a level disposition throughout the day, throughout the week, and it’s easy to get off track right now. It really is. It’s not, you know, I was talking to somebody the other day and they’re like, it’s got to be so awesome being in real estate right now things are flying off the shelf. And I’m like, it’s not not fun at all. But it’s, it’s it is what it is, and we just have to deal with it, we have to, like I said, you have to keep a level head through the whole thing, or you’re gonna, we’re gonna have to work with a lot of these people down the road, when this thing levels out, I’m gonna have to work with him, I’m gonna have to work with him for the next 20 years of my life. I’m not gonna I can’t fly off the handle. No, none of us can fly off the handle right now. We have to be professional, we have to be courteous to everybody that’s out there and realize that it’s just the phenomenon that that is real estate after COVID, you know,

Ben Florsheim 17:39
something that’s coming up, as you’re talking about that goes back to our first podcast and talking about being on the winning team and having a team right and I’m thinking about specifically Reno, right and how small Reno is and, you know, like, when that first podcast, we talked about our team, right? And our team is, you know, obviously our buyer seller, loan officer, if there is one of the title company, there’s been there’s probably a few others in there. And and now, right, like I’d even venture into like, what about the other side of the deal? Right? They’re still on the team,

Cal Lewis 18:10
without more so than ever, right? Yeah, more. Right. It seems like, you know, it can seem like they’re fighting against you right there. especially coming from a buyer’s point of view, the sellers basically have the balls in their court the entire time. But they don’t want the deal to fall apart. Either. They’re selling their house, they’re probably trying to get into something else, they want the deal to run smoothly. Just as bad as the buyers do. There’s a lot of back and forth moreso ever more so than ever before that I’ve ever seen, you know, back and forth between the agents between agents playing middleman between buyer and seller, there’s just a lot more talk back and forth, just to make sure everything goes smoothly.

Ben Florsheim 18:55
This might be way too simple of an example. Right? But it would be like me walking into 711 and be like, No, I’m not paying $1 for this water. Hey, like, no dollar 49 right, like they’re, they’re, they’re, you know, they’re procuring the sale to me and I’m the buyer right? Like, like we have to work together to you know, to have the sale go through. And and you know, Reno being as small as it is right? Like to be able and I can only imagine right looking at my phone and going Oh, man, I fucking piss this guy off last week. And I have to answer this phone call. Right like, versus like, last week pausing before you answer the phone. Right? Like you said, talking about talking to some of those parts, which I think fuck cow not in fucking cool. You know, pausing. Who’s got to show up right now. Okay, maybe I’m not in a great place to take the call. Right whatever’s going on. But like when you’re on that call like this a teammate, right. This is the other agent I want the same team. Right? Right. We’re in the same market. Right? And and what you know, if everybody did that, what what you’re talking about in this market right now, how much things would change? You know?

Cal Lewis 20:13
Yeah, for sure. And I feel it, dude, you know, I, I feel. I’m not saying I haven’t flown off the handle in the last couple of months, because there’s, there’s been times where I’ve been very, very close. And maybe, maybe they can tell from my tone on the other end of the line, but I try really hard not to. And I totally understand where all this frustration is coming from. And, you know, I was actually just in that same situation. A couple of weeks ago, I had a, I had a buyer and we put in an offer, and I called the agent and I was psyched. I can’t believe we didn’t get accepted here. What can you give me anything about like, how my offer can be better next time, I just want to learn here. And he, he was not very kind to me. I was like, Man, that’s not that cool. I was kind of short back with him after he was short with me first, and not pointing fingers or anything, but I had a listing like three days later, and he wrote on, you know, it’s, you’ve got this tendency to be like, this jerk the and of this deck, I can’t even I don’t even want to present this. But we ended up taking it and it was, it was it was totally fine throughout the thing. But I think that’s kind of what we’re getting at is, everybody’s got to understand where everybody’s sitting right now. And, and getting, getting everybody on the same page is is tough right now. For sure.

Ben Florsheim 21:55
What I’m thinking about right now is something that you and I think it’s only was recently we started talking about this and and what I’m kind of hearing it, so you had this this, you know, thing happened with this other agent, and, you know, trying to learn trying to grow, read this guy, just kind of, you know, spaten, you know, spear food kind of thing, right? And so I think very recently, you and I were talking about what’s in your control versus what’s out of your control, and focusing on you know, even for like me, right, like, what can I control throughout my day versus what Can’t I control and what things out of those two things are frustrating to me more. And generally, it’s the things that I can’t control 100% right, and having some of that realization, and I almost want to call this like, you know, a little teaser in this podcast, right? Like, this is the you know, this could this could be like some of that, that, that that juice that you get out of here. Right? If there’s anything out of this podcast, this could probably be, you know, a big one. And so we’re really trying to focus on some of those things that, you know, like asking those questions, right? Is this in my controllers is something that’s out of my control,

Cal Lewis 23:00
for sure. 100%. And, you know, most of the situations that I’m in, a lot of the times, I can’t control what’s going on, it’s super, super frustrating. That’s just the nature of the business, I think. And that’s the nature of the market right now. And being able to divide those things or separate those things, and focus on the ones that you can control makes, it seems to make my football coaches say worry about the little things, big things take care of themselves. And it’s kind of what happens there. It’s like the the more you take care, the stuff that you can control, the easier it is to let the things take care of themselves that you have no control over.

Ben Florsheim 23:44
I want to take this a step further. I’m going to ask you this this on many life coaching sessions. In those in those frustrating situations, what can you control?

Cal Lewis 23:57
Your reactions.

Ben Florsheim 23:59
Yeah, You get an A Cal? No, but for real, right?

Cal Lewis 24:06
Yeah. Yeah. That’s the only thing you can can control dude is how you react to that. And, and if you can’t take the day off, dude, go fishing or something, because because it’s a slippery slope, and you need to you need to, again, coming back to level on yourself and getting it together. Making sure making sure you’re you’re, you’re in the right place to, you know, negotiate these deals or talk to your clients about the market. You know, you have to you have to be in the right place.

Ben Florsheim 24:39
Yeah, yeah. You’re a professional. Right. And, and yeah, I mean, again, right, this can be a different conversation. If you can’t pause in those moments. Yeah, something else is definitely going on. Right, for sure. But having the awareness to be able to pause in those moments, huge, huge. Yeah. And it’s and and it’s not the first thing we go to right because

Cal Lewis 24:59
it’s One of the hardest things to do, it’s one of the hardest things to do. I’m a, I’m a huge, yeah, I wear my feelings on my sleeve, do people know how I feel at most of the time? And if if I just go through life like that, I don’t know if I’ll have many friends. But, yeah, that’s all you can do is just worry about how you’re reacting to the situation.

Ben Florsheim 25:23
I know, I asked you, you know, I’m going to kind of keep this whole thing short and sweet. And I asked you that a similar question at the beginning. And I kind of want to close with the same question. You know, really, specifically, you know, for the agents out there, and people that are just invested in this market in general, you know, the title companies, you know, all these, you know, all these guys like, what, what is coaching mean for you,

Cal Lewis 25:44
bringing it back to real estate and, and, and what it meant for my career and what it means moving forward for my career in real estate, and the balance that I have between my career and my life, right, my, my,

Ben Florsheim 26:01
because it totally bleeds over, you know, over and without a doubt your realtor, you know, that, you know, that’s who you are.

Cal Lewis 26:06
I mean, that’s, that’s our life, it’s tough to make that distinction, but you have to have a balance, you have to, I think, the most important thing that coaching has done is give me that balancing Give me that, that it’s, it’s easier for me now, to step back, take a breath, and control the things, focus on the things that I can control, and focus on working on the things that I can control, instead of focusing on the things that are out of my control and making that run my life. And just, I mean, you can spend your wheels forever doing that. And if you don’t step back and take a look at what you’re doing on a day to day basis. I don’t know I don’t know how I’d get through it. So that’s the biggest thing for me is finding the balance and recognizing which part of my whole is is taking the lead at different times of the day or different days of the week or different weeks of the month. Because Because it’s huge it’s huge and and you might not know it, but your clients know it and your your lender knows it and your title company knows it and and everybody knows it and and you might just just be out there spinning your wheels, not just so it can get so frustrating did so frustrating, but having that has has just it’s honestly calmed me down, dude, it really has it’s taken those those 13 hour days into, you know, to guess, instead of worrying about stuff that I have no control over worrying about the market or spending my time next week.

Ben Florsheim 28:05
Pleasure to get to know you and you know, thank you for entrusting me.

Cal Lewis 28:08
Same but same

Ben Florsheim 28:09
And thank you to everybody out there.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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